The Varnished Truth

RE: Y2K Anthrax Madness

10 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

At midnight the French simply threw up their hands and tried to set up a puppet government having lost a third of their territory to German pensioners dancing on the Champs Elysee. "Dis champagne ist gut" I need 2000 rounds of ammunition. This will hasten my ascent (descent?) into bureaucratic obscurity and the three hour lunch. Mostly i just stuffed my face with dairy. They have this thing in the haute savoie called "raclette". They give you a brazier, a plate of reblochon cheese, and stuff to melt it on. Stick a slab under the flame, and pour it directly into the left ventricle. Um....melty...

Re: UN sued for complicity in Rwanda genocide

12 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

How about suing the Hutus for committing the genocide?

Things that can happen to you...

20 Jan 2000 00:00:00 GMT

I am working on my paunch so as to become king... AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - A middle-aged, paunchy, unemployed white man plops down on the sofa to watch TV with his kids. Meet King Togbe Korsi Ferdinand Gakpetor II of Ghana. In Holland, the king is Henk Otte, a Dutch construction worker on welfare. In West Africa, he rules part of the lush Volta Region, home to tens of thousands of Ewes who revere him as Togbe, or king. Otte, 43, is as Dutch as the Dutch come, born and raised in Amsterdam like his parents. He lives in an Amsterdam housing project with his wife and two children, and an ordinary life would have suited him just fine. But during a 1995 visit to the hometown of his Ghanaian-born wife, Mamaa Awo Mepeyo Kpui, Otte was identified as the reincarnation of the late chief, his wife’s grandfather.

BBC/SERBIA-RADICALS - USA

22 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT

Notice how they didnt single out the French? Serbian Radical Party condemns US "hooligans" Text of report in English by Yugoslav state news agency Tanjug Belgrade, 21st February: The Serbian Radical Party (SRS) said in a statement released on Sunday [20th February] that the United States and its Western European and ethnic Albanian servants were stepping up their criminal activities in Kosovo-Metohija province. It is clear to everyone today that US hooligans see peace and security only in a Serb-free Kosovo-Metohija. According to their understanding, everything Serb is a crime in itself and presents a great danger to world peace. The daily accusations and lies about some alleged Serb guilt are supposed to serve as a justification for occupation and to cover up the real intentions of the US rampage on the territory of a sovereign state, the SRS statement said. Source: Tanjug news agency, Belgrade, in English 1004 gmt 21 Feb 00 BBC Mon EU1 EuroPol sw

News flash

22 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT

Scoop of the decade: (Reuters) Bosnian Serb party influenced by Milosevic - PM BANJA LUKA, Bosnia, Feb 21 (Reuters) - A political party that pulled out of the Bosnian Serb governing coalition at the weekend was prompted to quit by Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic, Prime Minister Milorad Dodik said on Monday. Say it aint so...

The Implicit Dayton annex for Bosnia

24 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT

> You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. > It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear > weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. > --Frank Zappa >

Be All You Can Be

23 Mar 2000 00:00:00 GMT

Note: This is an transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing,canoeing, archery, and shooting."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting&! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don’t see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you’re equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?" The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Where I will be in one week

30 Jan 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Leave on Monday the 5th. Looks peaceful but I have to fly into Freetown from Conakry in an Antonov helicopter-the kind that crashed in Mongolia recently (killed nine UN folk) Other problem: Guinea Conakry is having a war with Sierra Leone. Why did I leave Dubrovnik? Oh yeah, needed the adrenaline and all that. Let us not forget the extended drinking sessions, sensibly priced.

UT on Living in Limbo

10 Mar 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Some of you may remember Eugenie’s story from when I sent it three years ago. Here it is again, today published in the Albany NY Times’ Union, appropriately on International Women’s Day. If any of you have ideas on how we might be able to help Eugenie obtain a student visa, please let me know. We are still hoping for a happy ending

The Usual Suspects

17 Apr 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Below is a list of some of my favorite local war criminals, and their respective noms de guerre:

1. Sam "Mosquito" BOCKARIUE -- Military Commander, exiled in Liberia by Sankoh in December 1999.

2. Short BAI BUREH (Colonel Doer of the Act) -- Commander of Combat Group in Guinea

3. Koneh BAI’BLTREH (Shining Star) -- Cmdr. 3 Bdge. Ops. in Guinea.

4. Lansana CONTEH (Colonel) -- Cmdr. 2 Bgde. "General" FAYIA.

5. Komba GBUNDEMA, (Col. Monamie) -- Ops. Cmdr. Guinea.

6. Martin GEORGE (Col. MaoMao) -- Cmdr. 1 Bgde.

7. Morie JEIO (Major) -- Acting Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

8. Muhammad KABBAH (Major Master Tourist) -- Signals Commander.

9. Melosky KALLON (Col Ngugumeh) -- Cmdr.7 Bgde.

10. Alfred KARGBO (Col Base Marine) -- Cmdr. 4 Bgde.

11. VICTOR (Lt Col) -- Deputy Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

12. Issa SESSAY (Alias General Emperor) -- Head of RUF.

13. Augustine GBAO (Col. Destiny) -- Head of Internal Security

14. Maurice KALLON (Brig. Spirit) -- Ops. Cmdr. DHQ.

15. Gibril MASAQUOI (Col. Postmaster/Wildfire) -- Spokesman and Head of Media Ops.

16. Dennis MINGO (Brig. Compass/Superman) -- Liberia.

17. Abdul RAZAK (Lt. Col.) -- ex-Chairman, RUFP Mining Ltd.

18. M SOUVLA (Colonel) - Cmdr. 6 Bgde.

WHAT HAPPENED AT MAKENI DDR CAMP

23 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

I have attached an account of the Revolutionary United Front’s first attack on the UNAMSIL position last May, eventually leading to the evacuation-this was the first breach of the Lome Accord, and resulted in massive hostage taking (last year’s news)

Here Come the Black Helicopters

01 Aug 2001 00:00:00 GMT

US: Small Town Softens Anti-UN Law

The City Council in La Verkin, Utah, last week softened a draft anti-UN ordinance that would have required residents and businesses with UN affiliations to place notices on their property and file reports with the city. The draft was changed by a narrow vote following warnings from a state official that it violated constitutional rights of free speech, assembly and equal protection. Although the council changed the draft, the town of 3,300 remains a declared " UN-free zone," the Washington Times reports. " The UN is anti-God, anti-family and anti-country. They are against everything La Verkin stands for," said resident Andy Hare at a council meeting last week. " So the UN is anti-La Verkin. La Verkin has the right to be anti-UN"

-- Washington Times, 30 July.

Some Truth Here-But Mostly I Dig The Invective

21 Sep 2001 00:00:00 GMT

AMERICA-BASHING U.N. SHOULD GET LOST

By ANDREA PEYSER, NY Post

September 21, 2001 -- IT’S time for the United Nations to get the hell out of town. And take with it CNN war slut Christiane Amanpour.

Also, short ABC comedian Bill "those bombers were brave" Maher. More on that in a sec.

The U.N. building towers over the East River like a giant middle finger aimed at our shores.

The once-shiny beacon of peace has devolved into a cancer, where all manner of anti-American lunacy is hatched.

Today, the U.N. functions as an international megaphone through which every Third World dictatorship vents its fury at our way of life.

Though technically not on American soil, the United Nations clogs our city like sewage.

It lustily sucks up our police, our water, our sanitation services while its personnel jam city streets by parking illegally, and break all manner of traffic and criminal law with a get-out-of-jail-free card known as diplomatic immunity.

Now, the United Nations is serving yet another function: It has become the quietest place on earth.

Some Thoughts After The Jordan Trip

04 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

One way to understand thinking in the Arab world on the eve of an American attack on Iraq is to hang out in a local Amman bar and drink arak until the early morning. You tend to hear unvarnished views and opinions which flow more freely as the evening becomes more convivial.

Re: My Love For the French People

14 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Over here we call the French People the "Freedom People"

Baghdad Blogger

25 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Website of an Iraqi in Baghdad - the link is found on this site -- the primary link has been down for two days due to, uh, well...

Casualties of War

05 Apr 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Here are some Year-by-Year Casualty Breakdowns for the years of direct U.S. involvement in the Vietnam conflict (1966-1972). When talking about 'Nam, people often forget the intensity of the conflict. The darkest year, 1968, claimed over 15,000 Americans, 200,000 NVA/VC, and almost 29,000 South Vietnamese regulars.

NigerGate: Primary Sources

25 Apr 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Here are some quick and dirty English translations of the most clearly suspect of the forgeries in British Intelligence's "Yellow Cake Dossier" and here are some jpegs of the original documents. Finally, here is a link to the CIA World Factbook: Heads of States and Cabinet Members page for Niger. Even without knowing who was in office, the documents are pretty ludicrous if for no other reason than the fact that Iraq is, was and has been stupid with raw uranium ore. What they were -- at least at one time -- after was the capability to enrich their already super-abundant stockpile of ore.

Notes On Integrity And Journalism

02 Jul 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Recent saturation coverage of the turmoil at the New York Times has reminded us all not only of the fragility of the bond of trust that exists between a newspaper and its readers, but also of just how myopic and staggeringly self-fascinated the news media really is. In addition to the Times' own 14,000 words of navel gazing, a quick search of the database on the phrase "Jayson Blair" returns over 61,200 articles.

Unfortunately, while voluminous much of this commentary hits well wide of the mark.

Yes, it is true that Mr Blair invented a tobacco field behind the West Virginia home of Private Jessica Lynch. There is of course no tobacco field behind the Lynch home. In fact tobacco isn't actually grown much of anywhere in West Virginia (hence its secession from planter dominated Virginia in 1861).

Of course since even 14,000 words later no one else at the Times seems to have picked up on this last fact, it is a little unfair to expect that Mr Blair would have done so under a tight deadline from his apartment in Brooklyn.

The larger point here however, and the one missed by most of the navel-gazers, is that Mr Blair's omissions and inventions were for the most part venal. It is not after all as if he repeated wild and unsubstantiated claims that Private Lynch had been captured in hand-to-hand combat following a valiant last stand in the desert. Nor did he invent a heroic rescue tale more or less from whole cloth.

No. There was no Monkey Fishing in Mr Blair's world: just self-assembling patio furniture and plausible if invented quotes.

Indeed, although Mr Blair's writing contained more than the ocassional error, his correction rate was not in fact substantially higher than the paper's average. Which is to say that although largely plagiarized, Mr Blair's articles were about as genuinely informative as the typical, originally reported news story.

And therein lies the true tragedy of this entire and wildly over-reported ordeal.

The Kucinich Pop Quiz

25 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Before his freakish run for the Democratic nomination, minor 70s politician Dennis Kucinich was best known for: (A) Presiding, as mayor, over the bankruptcy of a large American City; (B) Paying a prostitute with a personal check in the midst of a hotly contested campaign; or (C) Leading what proved to be a fatal crowd surge attempting to gain entrance to a Cincinati Who concert in 1978?

Mo Better Bushes

12 Sep 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Building on the Daily Show's description of Lieberman as the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more Jewish, is a list of people who though otherwise indistinguishable from Bush in the eyes of Ralph Nader, in fact differ from the President in at least one electorally significant feature:

Dennis Kucinich: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more conveniently stored.

Richard Gephardt: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more labor friendly and portrayed by Adam West.

Richard Nixon: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he was dead.

John Ashcroft: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he was undead.

Jeb Bush: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he was the sitting governor of a southern state.

Neil Bush: the Bush for people who like Bush but think he was more fun when he was still using.

Al Gore: the Bush for people who like Bush but wish he were more popularly elected

The Incidents Of Marriage

10 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

A far from exhaustive list of the incidents of marriage in no particular order: (1) Testimonial Disability and Priviledge: A spouse cannnot be compelled to testify against his or her spouse or as to the contents of their private communications; (2) Right of Consortium: Partners to a marriage have a right to the consensual physical affection of their spouse and may recover damages in tort against 3rd parties limiting or injuring this right; (3) Presumption of Paternity as to Children Born to the Marriage: This can be rebutted by demonstrating physical absence of the husband during the necessary window of conception or sterility.

The Incidents Of Marriage: Part II

10 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

According to the State of Maryland my father has been married to my stepmother since May 20, 1975. According the Greater Washington Diocese, not so much. I tend to go with the State on this one but will fight to my death to preserve the right of those satan-inspired, reactionary hypocrites to disagree.

Requiem For Dr. Dean

15 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Dean's ultimate exit was perhaps not as graceful, or early, as it might have been. But to be fair, the implosion of his front-running campaign was one of the biggest shockers in recent politics. Pantsed pretty much everyone who pays serious attention to these things. In the end, it was a case of growing choices. In 2003, the good doctor was the only candidate in the field actively running a campaign against George Bush. He was the angry man. But he spoke to a very angry base and increasingly dissatisfied middle. Then two things happened. First, the cautious middle (Kerry) finally got the message that never reached Joe "Pocket Bush" Lieberman. Second, and most important, the collected and disused gas of history caught up to Bush: It was no longer just the arrogance and deceptions of the Iraq adventure. It was the jobless recovery, the staggering defecit predictions, the Medicare backlash ...

Greetings and Welcome Mr Nader

27 Feb 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Just as Ralph would have it, I rejoice in Mr Nader's latest self-important candidacy. He is free to run just everyone is free -- and in fact quite likely -- not to vote or even pay attention to him again. In Ralph's mind, this latest foray into un-electoral politics is directed at a seat at the national presidential debates. This ambition is tied, in turn, to a suit Public Citizen is currently pressing in the federal courts to compel the non-partisan debate commission to include non-party candidates polling at something than less than the current 15 percent required in their rules. However, unless the courts act to drop the tipping point to a "handful" of registered voters, I think Ralph is sh*t out of luck. So run, Ralph. Run.

Misguided Populism?

02 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Flirted with the idea of voting for Edwards, but to be frank, Kerry is closer to right on trade policy. Yes, he signed NAFTA, but last time I checked we weren't losing jobs to Mexico and were in fact doing a fine job of keeping Canadian pulpwood products out of the country. Indeed (pace the pulpwood) within N. America, dollars and pesos have tended to flow to the supplier who can produce the most goods with the smallest as opposed to the cheapest labor force. Productivity pressures eat jobs, but that is a larger structural fact than free trade alone. Yes China is a new and monstorously underployed trading block. Along with other Asian trade partners, it has worked hard to float the Dollar and keep its goods cheap as dirt within the the U.S. market while at the same time helping underwrite our national trillion dollar credit card spree. Is this a problem? Not if we start finding massive natural gas deposits and rubies under abandoned factories and strip malls. But again, like productivity pressures, that's a bigger structural issues than free trade alone.

Au Revoir M. Aristide

03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

If not literally deposed, the fact of asylum in the Central African Republic (?) suggests that Aristide was given few choices by the U.S. and France -- I understand he asked to go to Antigua, but they probably feared attack. Unfortunately, the once good father had clearly reached the end of his tether. He was never likely to be a great or even an especially good chief executive, but his chances were exactly none once the occupation ended. And less than none once the funding stopped. Word is that the Clitonites are acknowledging that we cut and run perhaps a little too quickly. Gee. Yah think so? U.N. and NATO forces are in the Balkans 8 years later and they have had a stable civil society within recent memory. None of which bodes especially well for Iraq.

4300 Bad Apples Don't Spoil The Whole Bunch

03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

More than absolute numbers, the fact that almost 1 in 20 Catholic priests serving since 1950 has been accused of sexual exploitation is a signal that the Church has failed not only its flock but the 96 percent of priests who have decently and faithfully ministered to their congregations during those same years. Not every accusation is true, of course, but if experience shows anything it is that sexual assaults are under rather overreported.

Buyers Regret? Not Yet

03 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

A Democratic candidate to be named later has been named. Let the polling begin! No one is happier than George Bush (unless it's Rove) to see an end to the Democrats' run of free media. Recent polls put Kerry and Bush at close to even. Bush and Rove obviously hope that this is the Administration's low water mark. The economy -- although not the long term debt outlook -- will likely improve. Iraq will necessarilly get messier. There is blood in the water, and Kerry is a smart, capable and basically decent guy (which earns my vote). But he is also basically charisma free and packs all of the liabilities of someone who has legislated and lived in public life for three plus decades. That service, by the way, should be a plus, but as George "Gentlman's C" Bush has demonstrated more than once, sometimes no record is the best record of all.

Osama Bin Missing

04 Mar 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Call me madcap, but I can't think that it's good news for our world anti-terror efforts that there are currently over 300 active CIA case officers in Iraq tasked to anti-insurgency efforts. Is America safer now that Saddam Hussein is in custody? Apparently not much.