"It used to be that know-nothings wanted to elect leaders to do their thinking for them," the expert continued. "But that still created an awful lot of public hand wringing. Right or wrong, George W. Bush is willing to go with the first thought that pops into his head, and Americans like that."
Other factors cited in Bush's favor include his "complete apathy towards truly complex issues."
"If a problem takes more than two sentences to explain, most Americans don't want it to be solved," one veteran political strategist observed. "And President Bush couldn't be more in touch with that."
"Also a lot of 'liberals' have forgotten how juiced it feels to have a loose cannon in the Oval Office," the blowhard strategist continued unprompted. "Hell, even the Duvaliers were afraid of Richard Nixon. I mean, how bad were we?"
When it was pointed out that with the notable exception of Iraq most world crises continue apace, the strategist grew stormy, insisting that "[r]eality has nothing to do with it," and abruptly hung up the phone (which was odd and ultimately ineffective since we were sitting in his office at the time).