Explaining some of the more baffling aspects of the Administration's foreign policy, sources close to Karl Rove have indicated that Bush is playing to largely fundamentalist constituency that believes that the Apocalypse predicted in St John's Revelations is in fact imminent.Features of St John's millennial prophesies reflected in Bush's foreign policy are said to include the return of the Jewish people to the state of Israel as well as the consumption of the Earth and the unrighteous in storm of fire and brimstone.
Mississippi farmer, Red Heifer of the End Time breeder, and likely Bush voter, Clyde Lott confirmed this strategy adding that "[e]veryone acts like the Antichrist is a bad thing when really he is just come to fulfill God's plan like that Judas fellow kissing Jesus -- which is something I don't usually cotton to between men."
"Really, it's a win/win situation for them," a political consultant contacted by the Standard Times Tribune commented.
"Presuming a small number of righteous protestant sects are among the survivors of the End Time, these guys will have a mortal lock on the ballot box for all eternity."
"On the other hand, if the Rapture is not incipient, Afghanistan has shown us, if nothing else, that the public has the attention span of a pubescent gnat."
A worker reached at the campaign headquarters of Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean initially sounded really, really stoned. But following an unusually long and reflective pause commented, "Well maybe Bush will make it through, but if that's true Rove is just frying his own fat *ss."
